Everyone thinks I don’t care about anyone but myself, well, they are right. I could not be bothered by someone else’s drama, which was why I kept to myself. 

The dinners didn’t really mean much to me but it was okay; I didn’t care if it happened or not but I had fun whenever it happened. I have not been able to keep a steady relationship with any man, like I said, I hate getting caught up in someone else’s drama and they sure bring a lot of drama.

I was first friends with Sarah, we knew when we were teenagers. We were off and on friends but we’ve been there for each other when necessary. We grew apart in university but something only both of us knew brought us together. I saw her make other friends and I was glad she was doing okay, somehow I ended up becoming friends with her friends.

Sam came as someone who wanted to date me but we realized soon enough that we were better off as friends, till now I don’t really know if he managed to put that in my head or if I really thought that. Sam was protective of me; he was a natural mother bear and has always told me that he didn’t think Sarah was good for me.

I noticed the little squabble that went on between Sarah and Zainab over Diane and I thought it was really funny because Diane was not all that. Sarah could not even tell Diane the biggest of her secrets so I didn’t understand why she struggled to be the number one in Diane’s life.

Zainab was cool, I wouldn’t go out of my way to hang out with her but when we hung out, it was nice and I felt she was the least shallow among the girls. If I was being honest, I liked her more because she made Sarah feel she was not enough with Diane. I know how it looks, like I hate Sarah, right? I don’t. I just hate that Sarah jumps from person to person depending on how much she could use them. Her reasons for friendship have always been selfish. I can bet that if Zainab was not in the picture she would have stopped being friends with Diane. Despite what I knew and how I felt, I was still friends with her, we had a bond. 

That night, I was uneasy, in retrospect, that was my gut feeling telling me something bad was going to happen. I couldn’t wait for the night to end, I had to visit the bathroom so many times because I was having anxiety. When Diane said she was not feeling so well and needed to lay in a little, I was happy because I just had to pretend to play for a little while before making up an excuse to leave. 

Sarah went inside to check on Diane and I went in to use the bathroom again. I did my business and came out, shortly after, Sarah came out and that had me a bit surprised, she came out too soon. I knew how to mind my business so I did not ask.

A few minutes later, Zainab came in and went straight in to give Diane the drugs. She wasted a lot of time and I could see Sarah getting uneasy and checking her wristwatch. After some time, I was no longer paying attention to the room because the queasy feeling had increased. 

Until the scream came. That scream became the bane of my existence. when the nightmares started, I heard that scream right before consciousness. I was the first to reach the bathroom when the scream came, everything I felt intensified when I saw the body and before I could even think it through I threw up all over the floor, it was then I understood what the feeling was all about.